How to Survive (and Maybe Even Thrive) During the Holidays
The holidays are supposed to be joyful. Sparkly. Cozy. Full of meaningful connection.
And yet… somehow they also involve family arguments, awkward conversations, emotional landmines, and at least one moment where you seriously consider hiding in the bathroom with your phone.
If the holidays increase your stress, anxiety, or emotional exhaustion, congratulations—you’re having a very normal human response to a very intense season.
As a therapist, I can confidently say: you’re not broken, and you’re definitely not alone.
Holiday Stress Is Not a Personal Failure
The holidays combine:
Unresolved family dynamics
Unrealistic expectations
Packed schedules and social obligations
Financial stress
Pressure to “be happy”
That’s not festive. That’s a nervous system workout.
If you notice more anxiety, irritability, overwhelm, or sadness during the holidays, it doesn’t mean your mental health is declining. It means your system is responding to stress—exactly as it’s designed to.
A Quick Therapy Reality Check
Let’s normalize a few things therapists talk about all the time:
You can love your family and need space from them
You can feel gratitude and grief at the same time
You can enjoy parts of the holidays without enjoying all of it
Two things can be true. That’s basic emotional health.
Boundaries Are the Best Holiday Self-Care
You are not required to:
Answer invasive questions about your dating life
Explain your mental health to relatives who won’t listen
Mediate family conflict
Stay longer than your emotional capacity allows
Setting healthy boundaries is not rude—it’s a core mental health skill.
Helpful phrases:
“I’m not discussing that today.”
“I need to step outside for a bit.”
“We’re leaving earlier than planned.”
No explanation required. Therapy-approved.
If You’re Triggered, You’re Not Ruining the Holidays
Feeling triggered during the holidays doesn’t mean you’re dramatic or difficult. It usually means old patterns, trauma, or attachment wounds are getting activated.
Instead of asking, “What’s wrong with me?” try:
“What does this remind me of?”
“What do I need to feel safe right now?”
Sometimes the healthiest choice is taking a break, going for a walk, or leaving early—without guilt.
Thriving Doesn’t Mean Loving Every Minute
Thriving during the holidays doesn’t look like constant joy.
Sometimes it looks like:
Practicing holiday self-care
Skipping events that drain you
Eating food you actually enjoy
Scheduling therapy after family time
Letting “good enough” be enough
That’s not avoidance. That’s emotional regulation.
A Therapist’s Holiday Mental Health Checklist
✔ Get as much sleep as you can
✔ Eat regular meals
✔ Drink water (yes, it matters)
✔ Take breaks from people
✔ Lower expectations—especially of yourself
✔ Remember you’re allowed to rest
If the holidays bring up grief, loneliness, or depression, you don’t need to force positivity. Your feelings are valid.
Final Thought From a Therapist
You don’t need to fix your family, heal every wound, or feel magical this holiday season.
You just need to take care of your mental health—gently, imperfectly, and with compassion.
And if all you do this year is survive the holidays?
That still counts as thriving.
